Emotional Regulation: 10 Skills Therapists Teach Most
What emotional regulation really means and ten practical, evidence-informed skills to manage big feelings without suppressing them.
DBT Skills Explained: STOP, TIPP, Wise Mind and More
A plain-English guide to the most useful DBT skills across mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotion regulation and interpersonal effectiveness.
By Mara Ellison··3 min read
Photo: Sean Stratton on Unsplash
The short version
- DBT organizes skills into four modules.
- Crisis skills (STOP, TIPP) help you get through intense moments without making things worse.
- Interpersonal skills (DEAR MAN) help you ask for what you want.
Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) was developed by psychologist Marsha Linehan. Its skills are now used far beyond its original purpose. Here are the essentials.
1. Mindfulness
- Wise mind: the balance between emotion mind and reasonable mind.
- Observe, describe, participate: notice without judging, put it into words, fully engage.
2. Distress tolerance
- STOP: Stop. Take a step back. Observe. Proceed mindfully.
- TIPP: Temperature (cold water), Intense exercise, Paced breathing, Paired muscle relaxation. For quickly lowering extreme arousal.
- Radical acceptance: accepting reality as it is, which reduces suffering.
Cold-water techniques can affect heart rate. Check with a doctor first if you have a heart condition or eating disorder.
3. Emotion regulation
- Check the facts: does my emotion fit the situation?
- Opposite action: act opposite to an unhelpful urge.
- PLEASE: treat PhysicaL illness, balance Eating, avoid mood-Altering substances, balance Sleep, get Exercise.
4. Interpersonal effectiveness
- DEAR MAN: Describe, Express, Assert, Reinforce; stay Mindful, Appear confident, Negotiate.
- GIVE: be Gentle, Interested, Validate, use an Easy manner.
- FAST: be Fair, no unnecessary Apologies, Stick to values, be Truthful.
Questions people ask
Is DBT only for borderline personality disorder?
It was developed for BPD and chronic suicidality, but DBT skills are now used for many issues involving intense emotions.
Written by Mara EllisonWriter behind Therapist Words and author of two self-help books. Not a licensed therapist; content is checked against professional sources. About · Editorial policy
Sources and further reading
This article is for education, not therapy or medical advice. Read our disclaimer. In crisis? Call or text 988.
